Tuesday, November 2, 2010


Always thought this band was pretty swell. Have a couple of their 7"s and their first LP and liked their take on the gloomy Portland sound of legends like The Wipers. This record sounds more involved, the instrumentation sees more intricate and though out. The contrast between this and their last LP is like Richard Gere falling for the whore in Pretty Woman; at first he wanted some company and some poon tang, but now he wants to treat her right and invest his patience and time. Although the music seems more intricate and darker, this album just didn't grab me like the first one did. No songs really stand out but I mean it's not bad, it just seems more like a record I would put on in the background while furiously searching for internet porn that does not contain anal. Good tunes, good production, just something missing, I think the first record did the gloomy punk thing well by also incorporating hooks. This record "The Subliminal Man" just ends up not being as entertaining as "Cinderella Man" or nearly as enjoyable as "Juwanna Man". I will say however that it's far better than "Family Man".



Download: http://nooptionsrecords.blogspot.com/2010/08/estranged-subliminal-man-lp-new-dark.html

Monday, September 13, 2010


First up is the non-reissue reissue of this unheard and unreleased LP from Belfast's Protex, recorded in 1979/1980. "Strange Obsessions" is brought to us by one of my favorite 77 punk/power pop reissue labels Sing Sing Records. Their first LP and boy can I say that 12" is just not enough! If you're into bands like The Boys or Rudi you will be all about this. Catchy melodic punk with great instrumentation and hooks that will stick in your head. Their single "Don't Ring Me Up" is rerecorded on this and after hearing it you will wish these boys were ringing up your telephone because this LP will slap the most youthful 12 inches of young teenage harmony upon your chest and onto your heart. On to the next reissue!

Voice Of The Puppets ep also on Sing Sing Records who literally have never failed for me... Until now. I read that the guitar was Buzzcocks-esque but if that's so then I would deem this band Burntcocks because they are not very good. There is literally a two second window of time that the guitar borders on Buzzcocks guitar sound but otherwise this record is lathargic repetitive punk that sounds like a human soul pacing, waiting for death. Sorry Sing Sing but this time I am not Sing Singing your praises. But Protex is so great we are even ;).


Antidote- Thou Shalt Not Kill. You should all know it and if you don't then pick up this killer reissue from Bridge Nine Records. One of the best NYHC records ever and this time around you get it on red vinyl and without the $300 price tag. Hey kid with plugs, short shorts, and a Gorilla Biscuits tattoo! You wanna know where Youth Of Today got their sound from? Check dis out! The vocals are more biting and vicious and the music goes straight for the jugular



Thursday, August 12, 2010


Another Deranged release to review, they have been cranking out tons of great stuff in the last few months and it seems that every time I turn around or read a review of a new hyped band, they are on Deranged. So Airfix Kits. Ex-members of Giant Haystacks, who never really made my ball hair stand on end but had some fans nonetheless. I read some Minutemen comparisons and name-drops when reading about this band. BOLD statement and not generally used seeing as they are the MC Hammer of punk rock (You Can't Touch This). Maybe that tainted my listening of this but this record did not make the panties drop. The guitar sound has maybe a slight Minutemen feel to it but there wasn't enough play between the bass and guitar to justify such a comparison. It's like saying that your band has Jesus Christ playing bass; not because Jesus doesn't exist but because if he did he'd be in the most raging metal band shredding the gnar on his golden ax adorned with diamond studded frets. Regardless of this, this band was set up for failure immediately for being compared to one of the best bands ever. The insruments are kinda cool but the vocals are super bland, no passion. Sounds like Captain Sensible or Paul Weller singing when they have a cold and just don't give a shit. First Deranged release in awhile that didn't make me have multiple orgasms. That and the Burning Love LP was just Ok.


Download: http://www.punksandskins.com/dl.php?go=http://kamikazetailspin.blogspot.com/2009/12/airfix-kits-flex-time-7.html


Wednesday, June 30, 2010


Ok people I've been gone for some time now but I now work at a record store and should have new records to review constantly. This hot little platter serves up some new fresh tunes from Red Dons who have been turning heads and stroking shafts with their catchy punk tunes with a slew of impressive releases. This record will please those fans of Red Dons but also throw them a few curve balls, like a beautiful intelligent woman who ends up being a transvestite; she's still hot, it's just different now.... Anyway! Red Dons play their rockin catchy tunes but throw in some new elements. At times it gets a little surfy and the song "Pariah" sounds like it could have been an Adolescents song, at least musically. The singer's voice continues to sound like a fine silk being slowly draped across a barely legal teenage girl's body, not relying on the "whoas" so much this time around. Bottom line if you dug their previous material this will titillate you with familiarity and keep you interested (like your cousin you accidentally hooked up before you realized who they were and you still think about them from time to time). If you haven't heard them, this is a great place to start.



Saturday, May 8, 2010


Well folks here's what's been up. I retired from film reviewing for a short while to focus on my on my one true passion; screaming in Icelandic at paserbyers from my bedroom window while violently masturbating. Anyway, I'm back, and boy do I have a treat for you. I may or may not have performed fellatio on Harvey Weinstein and gotten my hands on an all-inclusive Newport Beach Film Festival pass. So here it goes:

"Five Star Day" directed by Danny Buday opened the festival and I had high hopes, seeing as the festival had previous years opened with "Crash", and "500 Days of Summer" . SGuy loses his job, girlfriend, and car in the same day! Snoooor... Then he tries to disprove astrology to make a point to his ex. Snoooor... Then he finds love again in an unexpected place snoooor.... Nice character arc but everything in between was illogical and retarded. C, rent it maybe, or don't, I don't fuckin care.

"Dark Horse" (short), directed by Marc Furmie. This was grouped with several shitty shorts. This story follows a taxi driver and a prostitute through a uniquely unpleasant evening. As much fun as it sounded I thought it was gonna be another goddamn version of taxi driver, but this was pretty enjoyable, and casting was magnificent. The cinematography was refreshingly well done and it was nice to see a short shot in 35mm. If you have the chance, be sure to catch this little number. B

"Burning Palms" (feature) directed by Chris Landon. This is the one. If I could only recommend one film in the festival this would be it. "A subversley comedy satirizing well-known stenotypes of Los Angeles......" this had everything; it's hilarious, it's heavy, and it's royally fucked up. This covers just about every social taboo in 90 minutes and leaves the viewer wanting more. It's a must see. Get ready for butt sex, child abuse, incest, rape, racism, suicide and an umbilical cord mystery. This was so popular it actually screened twice after the buzz created after it's initial premier. Keep an eye out for this, I hope it gets he theatrical run it deserves, and I if doesn't then buy it on DVD. People will love or hate this; there is no middle ground on this one. A-

Derailed (short): This was phenomenally bad. I'm pretty sure it was shot on a handycam jammed in someone’s ass. This would have been more acceptable if this short included a story worth mentioning. This had some cool sound design but not enough to make this worth entering in a festival. This was shot in standard def in low light and it had more artifacts in it than a hookers snatch. D

Drones (feature):fucking awful, I'm not gonna talk about it. Don't see it. Sam Levine was there in person and I didn't stay for he Q and A after because I genuinely didn't care. D

The Wild Hunt (feature): fucking amazing. If "Burning Palms" was my favorite film of the festival, this was a close, close second. So these dudes wait all year for this renaissance festival where they pretend to be Vikings, Elves and warriors, and they take it super serious. So our Hero's girlfriend goes to one of these events and he has to go and win her back, until things go wrong. This dark film has a lot of laughs, but ends up heavy as shit. This is like lord of the flies with adults, with appropriate violence to accompany these characters. As a huge fan of the ultra-violence, I am more impressed when it is used appropriately, and this is an amazing example of that. The casting was probably the best I've seen in the festival and the cinematic choices made this an all around good movie. This will inevitably be on DVD but if it gets a theatrical run don't miss it.

"Snow and Ash" (feature): This was like if you took parts of Full Metal Jacket, The Deer Hunter and The Killing Fields and made something really mediocre. This felt like a near miss, which is unfortunate because it had a lot of potential. It had some fantastic scenes but as a whole it didn't hold together. The soft-focus-racking that accompanied the main character waking up was a creative touch; unfortunately it was overused and eventually became distracting and ejected me from the film. C

"Greener" directed by Hannah barnwick. This is impressive on it's own, let alone for a student project. Based on a personal experience, this is a creative short about a girl at a crossroads and is really boiled down to a clean, tight little short. It strongly and symbolically encapsulates a highly relatable position that makes the viewer empathize and connect with the lead. A.
You can find the trailer here: tranzparentpictures.com

"Refresh" (short) directed by David Orr. I was able to meet the director of this and was super intrigued due to not only my raging sci-fi boner, but also because it was shot exclusively on the canon 5d Mark II and I wanted to see how it held up on the big screen. The opening shot must've taken some serious gear to set up, with a slow, upside-down pan across a ceiling and slowly rotating down. Unfortunately the rest of the cine was atrocious and story was lame. I think they used mostly natural lighting, which could've worked, but it just didn't. The 5d held together nicely on a theater screen, but it just didn't have a story or a director of photography to take advantage of the opportunities. C-

"Chinese Antique" (short) directed by Ryo Shiina and Bassem Wahbi: This was a student project that was really impressive. It's a "coming of age" story with some subtle humor following a kid getting a job at an antique shop with a "FOB" Chinese man. Definitely see this if you have the chance. B+

"The Window" (short) directed by Ryan Spindell: This was defiantly inspired from a famous fairy tale. And although the ending became apparent early on, it was still an enjoyable little short. B

"Asbury Park" (short) directed by Robert Anderson: this was so close to being amazing. It had this great subtlety to it, which had me hook, line, and sinker. Unfortunately they proceeded to pound your face in with it, and it became just like everything else. C+

"I Do" (Short) directed by Adam Smalley: uuuggghhhh. I left during this. I still have no idea what the fucking point was. Unless it was a brilliant surrealist film that's goal is to irritate the viewer, if so it was a huge success. D? C? Who cares, NEXT

"Child of the Desert" (Short) directed by Malachi Rempen. This is an amazing surrealist short out of Chapman University about a man battling some inner demons. Definitely don't miss this, not only was it one of the most impressive shorts not only in its showcase, but one of the best films in the festival. A

"The Good Heart" (feature): directed by Dagur Kári. This was cute as hell. A grouchy old man meets a homeless kid and doesn't molest him. Quite the contrary, he takes him in and tries to teach him to be just like him. This has some fun characters, some laughs, and some tragedy. This was probably the most mainstream, marketable film I've seen so far. This will end up with at least a small theatrical run, plus Magnet looks like it's got the DVD distro rights. Watch the trailer, and if you think you'd like it, you probably will. B

Elektra Luxx (Feature) Directed by Sebastian Gutierrez. This had a ton of hype and largely good reviews. It's also about a pregnant porn star, so I decided to check it out. First of all, the potential of a dramatic comedy about an aging pornstar is damn near infinite. This was a letdown, it was shot like a made for TV movie, and sometimes cine was distractingly bad. This was totally meh all the way across the board, and it left me bored as shit. Also for a movie about pornstars, I think it's an unwritten rule that there's gonna be some knockers in it. Really? Nigga please, this could have been rated PG. What a waste of an awesome concept. Skip it. C+

Chameleon (feature) Directed By Krisztina Goda This is a film out of Hungary about a con man that gets hired as a janitor and sifts through rich peoples garbage to find his victims. He's totally capable of adapting to his victims needs and taking advantage of them until he meets his match. This was probably the best-written film of the festival: with our hero trying to maintain 4 different "altar egos" each needing something from a different victim in order to take advantage of the next one. Let me tell you, you could cut the tension with Lexington Steel's erection. Characters were impressively three dimensional, and dialogue was natural and quirky, even with the language barrier. Check out the trailer, and then go see it. A

"Air Doll" (feature) directed by: For some reason the entire line for this was compiled of elderly people this concerned me. Anyway as far as Japanese movies about sex dolls are concerned, this was a little different. It seemed to make a good point and conclude at about the one-hour mark. It proceeded to shit all over this previous conclusion for a much different concept. I honestly have no idea how I feel about this. It had some amazing scenes, and rad concepts, plus the lead actress was amazing, but in the end it felt… unorganized.

Thursday, February 18, 2010


Hello there folks. It's me again. Here to review the latest installment of Swedish punk rock. The Regulations have been blowing minds and penetrating young girls for quite some time now. When I heard "To Be Me" their new full length was coming out, I was very excited yet a little apprehensive much like Gary Glitter's first encounter with beating his meat to child pornography. I say this because their "Different Needs" ep was their most recent and to me their least impressive record. Spun it once and thought eh. Second listen was a lot more into it. Third listen caught in the middle. It's got all the things you love about the Regulations, still rockin tunes in that early Black Flag/Circle Jerks style with some interesting little guitar hooks thrown in but overall the songs just aren't as memorable on this record. A little more melodic which is nice but it sounds more like less energy as opposed to trying to make it catchier. A few weird slower tracks thrown in which usually I'm down with but it's like Helen Keller trying to bake a cake from scratch: It ends up coming out wrong but I appreciate the effort to try something new. The direction they were going on "Electric Guitar" was fantastic and I wish that this record was more reflective of that.

3.5/5 - It's good but it gets this when comparing it to their two other LPs


Friday, December 25, 2009


Well guess who's back in the motherfuckin' house, with a fat review for your motherfuckin' mouth. Avatar has to be one of the most hyped films of the decade. James Cameron's sci-fi record is unmatched and impecable: Terminator 1 & 2, Aliens, and the Abyss- which all featured revolutionary CG technology. So now here comes Avatar. A $500 million dollar film with revolutionary 3D, and a brand-spankin-new form of motion capture. I went to the midnight premier, along with every mouth-breathing world of warcraft addict in the tri-county area, and here's my review 24hours later.

Heres the deal folks. Ima break the review down into two sections, the visual, and the story.

Visually- 5/5 it really is a new kind of 3D and it looks amazing. Undeniably phenomenal in Imax 3d. Revolutionary technology, and yes you can tell the difference.

The Story- I walked into the theater wanting to love this movie. But holy fucking hell. What a pile of shit. Are you fucking kidding me Cameron? I thought we were cool, man. Remember when we had common goals? You had the formula down- Bill Paxton + Violence = Classic. This movie was basically like Cameron was like- "Hey, let's mix all the shitty parts of the Matrix, with Ferngully, and stretch that into the framework of a 2 and a half hour version of the Ewok fight from Return of the Jedi". You fucking cunt, you made titanic and it went to your head. Hellen Keller could have written better dialogue. And seriously, there's a reason why Sigourney Beaver didn't do jack shit after the Aliens movies. OK, ok. Maybe I'm being too harsh. But the film is like... nothing. It's like eating unflavored tofu- yeah it's food, but why the fuck eat it? The movie is predictable start to finish from the trailer. Did you see the trailer? Do you kind of know what it's about? guess what? you're right! Exactly that happens, who'd of thought? And what the fuck is with the pg13 rating? Gotta ensure that mass appeal right? The only good part in the whole movie was that apparently the Thundercats ride on birds by raping them.

When the steamy pile of shit that is Terminator Salvation came out, I was like, "awe man, Cameron could have made this amazing" but no, now i don't think he could have. I trusted you Cameron. And you told me you loved me, not directly but I could tell by the way you made your movies. Then you took $16.50 from me. Good luck making back your $500,000,000.00, you fucking dick. Maybe you should have written a better story in the 15 years you spent making this. You know what the worst part of this is? The George Lucas parallels, that's what hurts the hardest. 2009 is the year that James Cameron died and Neill Blomkamp was born. And the universe is one again. Now if you'll excuse me, me and my high horse will be leaving.

2.5/5- you've seen this movie a lot of times already, if you're gonna see it, watch it in 3D. If not, you can afford to miss this.


no links unless you want a cam, and if you're the type of person that can stand to watch cam rips, you're probably exactly the type of twat that would like Avatar. And i hope you die.

Monday, December 21, 2009


This band has gotten tons of hype and has a slew of full lengths and Eps floating around out in the record world. They have an upcoming tour with The Queers and they played with Municipal Waste in good old Anaheim aka Anal Slime. They looked and sounded like a band that should be on Epitaph but I thought hey people were shaking their money makers maybe I'm not getting it or something. Downloaded "From The Bottom" and it made me want to join a fraternity and hang out at the local pub while I sing along to their anthem infused pop punk. This sounds like a dirtier Bouncing Souls or Dropkick Murphys which is like being the slightly more shit stained toilet scrubber. Not only does the music do nothing for me and is completely predictable but the lyrics are generic "I'm sick of the bullshit" and "I don't give a fuck anymore" type stuff, which I have had enough of for a lifetime. When I saw them live the singer sang some words alone on stage that stated "Don't believe what you read, don't believe what you see on TV" and at that time Bulimia seemed like a more enjoyable alternative to watching them play. Yeah, some of this stuff might get stuck in your head but that never made Cher's "Believe" a good song. Or did it?



Download Here: http://watchthetapes.blogspot.com/2009/05/off-with-their-heads-from-bottom-2008.html

Sunday, September 20, 2009


I'm back motherfuckers and boy-howdy do I have something for you. WILLEM DE FO-FIVE-SIX-SIX-SIX. Don't expect this to be about a big red guy in a rubber suit. Directed by Lars Von Trier, who is know for his "unsimulated sex" and "explicit imagery" in his dramas, really pushed the limits of... everything in this horror. It's about a husband (De fo-five-six) and wife (some singer lady) who's baby died and she takes it real bad, and he’s like lets go to the forest (Eden) you're afraid of, and then the shit hits the fuckin fan. Prep yourself for symbolic imagery, psychotic delusions, warped reality, and some things that I haven't ever seen before. I don't even want to tell you any of the key points as to why this is so vulgar/violent/fucked/original. You can look elsewhere if you want to find out gore spoilers. Just know that this is the most fucked up movie I've ever seen in years. Keep in mind that this is not a regular torture-porn flick, as it forces the viewer to grow very attached to the characters and really feel their psychological pain as well.

This is an art film, not a slasher, so much so that you gotta work at it if you really wanna understand what's going on. It's more of a frightening drama than a horror. Pretty fuckin wicked.

For better or worse I can’t stop thinking about it- 5/5

200mb files, NO PASS, NOT MY LINX

Monday, August 31, 2009

Cannomen Demo Tapes

These fine young gentlemen burst out of the lovely region known as the South in the sweltering state of Tennessee. Featuring members of Life Trap this band plays a brand of catchy yet snotty punk rock thats hard to compare to any one band. What I like about these two demo tapes so much is that after one listen the rhythms and words get caught in your head, not in the Ricky Martin "Livin La Vida Loca" sort of way where every electrical chord reminds you of how bad you'd like to strangulate yourself but in a way that makes this band stand out and gets you stoked to listen to it again. I like that I can't compare it to other bands easily but for you people who will not check out stuff unless I name drop then think early so cal punk rock, equal parts SST and Posh Boy but with more of an edge. A good modern reference would be Deep Sleep but Cannomen do it catchier and make me feel much more inclined to give it up on the first date. I also read elsewhere a reference to Texas bands when hearing this and yes a Really Red and Dicks vibe exists as well. Scorching instruments, refreshing unique vocals, and a lot of man sweat is what you can expect from these guys. Highly Recommended! Check out their myspace and order the demo tapes!


5/5 Yeah another good review lick my taint recommend something terrible so I may tear it apart with a poignant and precise review.