ILSA, She Wolf of the SS (1975)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071650/

Somehow I didn't see this until now. I hadn't heard anything about it. I just assumed it was another mildly offensive, grindhouse film that would make a better trailer than a feature. Man, oh man was I mistaken

Let me begin by modestly stating that this film is fucking incredible. The premise is that “Ilsa” is the heartlessly chesty ruler of a Nazi prison camp- but if you can sexually satisfy her, then she won’t castrate you. Now I know what you’re thinking: “but I don’t think its cool to exploit something as terrible as the holocaust.” Well, fuck you then and stop ruining everyone’s good time because it just so happens that the camp is filled with entirely white Americans of mostly Irish descent in the prison camp so they took the high road even for exploitation. Anyway, now that that asshole is gone... Ahem, most exploitation and “B” movies run the risk of being utter and complete shit with a 30 second action scene and then 89minuets of dialogue while the viewer is left watching a boom mic dangle at the top of the screen. Ilsa just happens to be THE GREATEST EXPLOITATION FILM I HAVE EVER SEEN.

There is sex, violence, torture, nudity, explosions, urination, electrocution, castration, defecation, and sealed with a kiss and an “X” rating. Not to mention some “one liners” that would make Bruce Campbell proud. If I could only recommend to you one exploitation film to represent the genre, this would be it. This inspired two (and a half?) sequels, and has earned a special place in my heart. If this isn’t enough to convince you to see this movie, then see it just for Dyanne Thorne’s knockers, which defy gravity, time and space without the use of silicon. Making her my favorite “NILF” of all time, the “N” being Nazi of course. Dyanne went on to get her Ph. D in Comparative religion, and is now an ordained minister. If you can find this gem on DVD buy it. Try avoid the Korean “uncut” version on ebay because it is not really “uncut” –just like my penis.

And pour out a little of your drink for director Don Edmonds who died less than a month ago on May 31. 2009

5/5- fucking masterpiece
-eddie

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